Citizens of the Ultimate Galactic Empire

An early Bestian, magnified x1000
In The Beginning

Very early in the lifetime of universe (0, t, x, y, z, 0.zz9, l), multicellular life began. What gods had formed did not notice it until the early creatures had no use for them. 

 Water formed in a a cooler niche of a chunk of early matter and animalcules swam around in it. Certain physical peculiarities ‘see’ each other's thoughts, which both allowed them to easily communicate and gave enormous advantages to the animalcules whose random mutations allowed them even the smallest ability to dissemble. Those animalcules who could ‘lie’ would simply eat all of the trustworthy ones. Simple cultures formed, fearing outsiders might be ‘liars’, reinforcing each others' fear as they witnessed it shiver through society.

The cultures discovered history, science, and genetics before the individual creatures were more than a few hundred cells each. The need for defense led them to seek more robust forms, so they invented sexual reproduction and selective breeding programs in a race to develop things like skin, teeth, and thumbs.

They emerged from the water in several forms as each culture valued different features, but all were tiny variations on the theme of frog/slug hybrids. They had purposefully dulled their telepathy in order to work better together, and universally sworn to destroy any ‘liars’ they encountered.

They called themselves "the people" then, as nearly every other race eventually would refer to itself. This was before they correctly realized that they were the most perfect race possible within the universe and began calling themselves "The Bestians".

A sluggier early Bestian.

Early Bestian
Init -2; Atk none; AC 8; HD 1hp; MV 10'; Act 1d20; SP telepathy with other Bestians in line-of-sight, random defense (spines, acid, gas, etc.) doing 1 damage to human-sized creatures on failure of DC5 Fort save if molested; SV Fort +1, Ref +4, Will + 4; AL N

The Ultimate Galactic Empire 

Several billion years followed. The Bestians flourished as they discovered everything about the universe in which they lived, fully exploring every creative impulse, and developing every destructive capability just in case. Encountering other sentient life, they studied it, evaluated it, often invited it to join their empire, sometimes left it alone, rarely destroyed it quickly and painlessly. All was according to thoroughly tested moral axioms, proven correct.

They themselves perfected their physical forms and mental capacity. The average Bestian of this era was a massive 9' toadish/sluggish humanoid, so broad and thick to resemble a cube, and more than the equal of the greatest heroes of Man in any test of prowess.

Each skill or talent the Bestians perfected was eventually converted to a new skill-organ specifically designed to perform that one feat with perfection. Each Bestian had dozens or hundreds of leathery sack-like skill-organs depending from their heads and torsos, allowing their brains to further probe the limits of thought or simply be at peace.

All citizens of the Ultimate Galactic Empire, Bestian or otherwise, were equal in the eyes of Empiric Law, as they all possessed an Ultimate Galactic Citizen skill-organ. (Skill-organs were designed to work with nearly any life-form and become part of that life-form's genetic inheritance. If that was not possible, the skill-organ could form a motile spore that would migrate to an embryonic child or utilize any of dozens of other special cases required by one or more of the thousands of types of life making up the Ultimate Galactic Empire.)
 
The entire crew of the UGE Civilization-Class “Lullaby”, responsible for the fall of 112 lesser galactic empires.
 
 
UGE Bestian (Average)
Init +13; Atk +10 slam (2d10+10) or +10 Naser Pistol (1d30+ 1d20); AC 15 (22 if armored); HD 10d14; MV 60'; Act 1d20 + 1d20; SP telepathy with other Bestians in line-of-sight or on agreed upon hyper-frequency, all skill check DCs reduced by 15, may use equivalent of spellburn on any check, skill-organs vulnerable to critical hits and mighty deeds of arms;  SV Fort +9, Ref +9, Will +9; AL 99%L, 1%C

UGE Bestian (Elite)
Choose a class. Apply all 10th level abilities of class. Apply all features of 18 in all attributes. Apply maximum hit point rolls. Roll Attributes as normal, with a minimum of 8 in any attribute. Apply all features of these attributes.
Select an Elite ranking of between 1 and 10. Add this value to all derived traits: initiative, hit points, attack rolls, damage, action dice, saving throws, etc. When taking or dealing damage, roll 1d14. If the result is equal to or less than the Elite ranking, half damage being taken or double damage dealt.
When critically hit or subject to a Mighty Deed of Arms, a skill-organ may be damaged or destroyed.
Roll 5d4 instead of 1d20 for any skill check not specifically associated with a damaged or destroyed skill-organ. Give the character superior equipment and access to a UGE Corvette.

The Late Empire

At approximately (0, 3.4 x 1026, x, y, z, 0.zz9, l), it was proven that the Bestians had already done everything possible to the most perfect degree possible, either in reality or in simulated form. The greatest art, the sourest loss, the most loving embrace, the most banal conversation. Every superlative had been reached. 

The Empire considered this. What now? The philosopher classes worked and the Empire proclaimed:
  1. The Universe is a closed system and possesses limitations.
  2. The Empire has perfectly filled the contours of those limitations and has nothing new to offer.
  3. The Universe may be a simulation. If so, the simulation must have a goal. If it has a goal, it has been achieved.
  4. Simulations require energy. Those performing the simulation should be allowed to redirect that energy from a simulation that has achieved its goal.
  5. The Empire must signal that the Universe has achieved its goal state. If this is not possible, it must reduce the energy consumed by the process of simulation.

The Empire worked multiple large-scale changes upon the universe, creating and destroying stars in patterns and such, but still the Universe persisted. It was decided that all life in the Universe should be destroyed to best reduce the simulation requirements of it.

Many of the lesser races of the Empire balked at this, and some few Bestians. This led to some interesting, though very one-sided wars. A single Bestian Corvette with a standard crew of six was sufficient to destroy most client races' home systems and defense fleets, even if they had time to summon their entire pantheons.

Hyper-G-D IX as summoned to defend the Grendel system from a UGE scout ship.

Androids and AI had been purposefully shunned by the Empire as no morally better than slavery, but work began to create a simpler, less demanding servitor race of robots to carry out the rest of the destruction of all life in the Universe so the Bestians could off themselves.

Sample warship: UGE Corvette “Hush”
Standard crew: Captain (Warrior), Navigator (Halfling), Gunner (Warrior), Engineer (Thief), Exorcist (Cleric (L)), Voidsman (Wizard), all Elite 1-3. The Captain, Navigator, and Gunner occupy identical rooms, each a complete backup of the other in case one is destroyed. The Engineer remains in the engine room, directly under the Chapel, where the Exorcist remains. The Voidsman, stationed by the airlocks, crawls around the outside hull from Mount to Mount.
Weapons: Dual Paser Cannons (two better than Naser Cannons!), Death Blossom (360 degree Naser blasts). Internal Chapel w/Hull-breech & Rifled Steeple, Mega-Damage blessings (Allows clerical spells to operate at Mega-Scale). 3x Wizard Mounts with adjustable Mega-Staffs (Allow wizards to cling to the external hull of the ship and work magic at Mega-Scale)
AC: 15; HP: 50; use relevant features of crew to determine other statistics.
Ship weapons and hit points are at Mega-Scale. 1hp of Mega-Scale damage is 10hp of damage at normal scale. Every full 10 points of normal scale damage are 1hp of Mega-Scale damage.

The Last Bestians

The Bestians eventually killed themselves and nearly all other sentient life in the universe. The final Bestian crew, a rebel group working to promote the idea that life had value even if it wasn't going to produce anything new, that doing the same things but maybe a little worse wasn't so bad, crashed on the planet Earth (0, 3.5954 x 1026, 1.1 x 10-7, 1.01 x 10-7, 1.01 x 10-7, 0.zz999, l) while rushing to defend it from a loyal AI-controlled UGE fleet. All crew members sustained terrible wounds. Most skill-organs were destroyed. None had a functional citizenship organ, causing the ship's medical systems to malfunction. Reduced to a near-death, zombie-like state, all were killed by middle-aged humans attending a middle school reunion.

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